


Whatever Your Heart Desires

by jqueen17



Category: Phan
Genre: Birthday, Cute, Drinking, Feels, Fluff, Japan, M/M, Mentions of Sex, phils birthday
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-31
Updated: 2017-01-31
Packaged: 2018-09-21 01:48:43
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,010
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9526493
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jqueen17/pseuds/jqueen17
Summary: Summary: Dan’s always been a huge advocate of surprises, and Phil could never guess the extremities of them. These birthday surprises in particular, however, took the cake.Word Count:  5016Warnings: fluff, a mild birthday drinking scene, mentions of sex, and a whole lot of feels





	

**Author's Note:**

> Happy Birthday to our beloved son, sun, and angel bean Phil Lester! The universe blessed us with this man thirty years ago, and hopefully it will bless us with him for many more. Here is my contribution to the montage of birthday gifts for Phil-we love you!
> 
> This fic was edited by the lovely @victorianhowell on Tumblr, and this beautiful cover art edit was made by my good friend @the-phil-to-your-dan on Tumblr! Thank you both!:)
> 
> I really hope y’all enjoy this, and if you do, feel free to comment-feedback is always appreciated!

Phil

“Can you at least give me a hint where we’re going?”

One way people don’t expect to spend the day before their birthday is blindfolded in the back of a taxi, I could testify to as much. Dan was sat next to me, and I could hear him clicking away on his phone, “sorting some things out”, as he’d said.

“I already told you no. It’s not your birthday yet so you get no special privileges.”

I heard the cab driver chuckle, probably looking at us in the rearview mirror like we were insane. I had an actual blindfold covering my eyes-Dan had a lot of random stuff like that, I had learned-and Dan was being the most secretive he had been in years. I had to give it to him, no one kept secrets better than Daniel James Howell.

“What if I guess?” I asked pleadingly, hearing a smile at my whining tone in Dan’s reply.

“Nooooo,” he sang back, his typing not even pausing.

I gave up for the rest of the taxi ride, which had to take close to half an hour, but as soon as we stopped I tried again.

“Okay, I have no idea where we are. Can I look now?”

I assumed Dan was paying the driver, as he took a few moments to respond.

“Nope.”

“But I can’t see to walk!” I protested, both Dan and the cab driver laughing in response.

“I’ll handle that. You trust me, right?”

“Not at the moment,” I mumbled, receiving another round of laughter as Dan gently pushed me out of the taxi. Despite my previous statement, I grabbed his hand as soon as I could, letting him pull me along to wherever we were heading.

We walked up an incline for a few moments, which was tricky as I kept tripping every other step. Dan didn’t scold me for my clumsiness, for once, quietly following behind me so he could guide me through what had to be a door. I allowed him to pull me to what felt like a sofa before letting go of his hand.

“I’ll be right back, okay?”

My heart jumping told me I had briefly panicked, even though my mind was mostly calm if a bit baffled. “Um, okay?”

“Promise you won’t peek?”

The sincere plea in Dan’s voice was the only thing keeping me from doing just that as soon as he left the room. “I promise.”

Silence filled the room, and I leant back, wondering what on earth was happening. Dan had clearly been planning his birthday present to me for a while now since there were more details and secrets involved than I could count. I had texted a few of our close friends yesterday, subtly asking if anyone knew anything about this little trip, but no one had fessed up to knowing anything. They were all such good liars that I couldn’t tell if they were being genuine or not.

I wasn’t sure how much time had passed when Dan returned, but when he did I heard a door shut, some rustling, and felt Dan sit down beside me.

“Can I take the blindfold off now?”

Dan seemed to ponder my request for a moment, but I could tell he was playing around by the humour in his tone when he answered.

“Fine. But only because we’re going to be here for awhile.”

I was intrigued, turning around so Dan could untie the knot he had secured earlier today. He removed it, and I was surprised that I wasn’t immediately blinded by light. Instead, there were only a few small, softly lit lamps clicked on in the small room, and I studied my surroundings as I felt the room vibrate around us.

“No,” I looked at Dan, who was smirking amusedly at my astonishment. “We are not on a plane.”

Dan shrugged as I felt the engine kickstart, the propellers outside causing the cabin to shake as we prepared for takeoff.

“Might want to buckle up,” Dan smirked again, clicking the sofa’s seat belt into place around his middle. I did the same, staring at the side of his face as the plane rocked violently, bringing us into the much smoother air above.

“You rented a private jet for this birthday present? Are you insane?”

Dan finally fully grinned, his eyes lit up and dancing as he met my amazed stare. “Maybe a little. But I think this will be worth a brief lapse of sanity.”

I shook my head, laughing in disbelief. “Where are we going? You said we’d be here a while?”

The sneaky look was back on his face. “But what’s my definition of ‘a while’? You’ll never know.”

I half-sighed, half-groaned and Dan pulled me over to lean on his shoulder. “I promise, it’s worth the wait”, he whispered against the side of my head, and I sighed, preparing myself to be in the air for ‘a while’. Whatever length of time that was.

 

It turned out that length of time was twelve hours. I ended up falling asleep for about three hours, which was an awful length of time for what was supposed to be a nap. I woke up groggy and confused with my arms wrapped around Dan’s middle, my head in the middle of his chest. I don’t remember how I got into the position, but I was surprised it wasn’t more uncomfortable for Dan, who was also dozing. I didn’t dare move, for fear of waking him up, but I didn’t mind at all-Dan was warm, and Dan was solid, stabilizing my motion sickness that sometimes hit on long plane rides.

I was perfectly content to continue my nap, but Dan’s hands on my back startled me into full consciousness again.

“Hey, it’s just me. I thought you were already awake; I didn’t mean to wake you up.”

Dan didn’t move his hands, trailing his fingers up and down my spine, and I shivered. “You didn’t wake me up. I was already half-awake.”

Humming a response, Dan slid his hands under my shirt, his fingertips gliding over my shoulder blades, my sides, and eventually to my angular hips.

“Uh, Dan?” I asked, my breath hitching when his hands pressed gently into my hips, massaging them with slow, circular motions. “What’re you trying to do?”

I felt the rumble of a barely-contained laugh in his chest, but he portrayed the innocent tone in his voice rather well. He had taken acting classes, after all-I tended to forget that little detail.

“I’m not trying to do anything but make you relax. Planes generally freak you out, whether you realize it or not.”

I rolled my eyes. He was probably right, but I knew Dan, and he sometimes liked to get a bit frisky at times like these.

“Still not my birthday yet. Just remember that before you get any ideas.”

Dan snickered, not moving his hands from my hips. “Hey, Phil?”

“Yeah?”

“Wanna hear a joke?”

I sighed exaggeratedly, smiling into his jumper. “Sure, hit me.”

“You know the movie Snakes on a Plane?”

I furrowed my eyebrows, wondering where this was going. “Yeah…”

“We could make our version of that, only we could call it Sex on a-”

I smacked his shoulder, causing him to erupt into a fit of giggles.

“Behave!” I teased, pulling his hands up to my shoulders. “Besides, I’m pretty sure there’s porn with that title, so absolutely not.”

“You’re mean,” Dan mock-pouted, rubbing my shoulders instead.

“I have standards,” I corrected, sighing as he continued to massage the tense knots out of my muscles, most of which I hadn’t even known were there.

“Mmhmm.”

I could tell he was smiling, but I didn’t move, way too comfortable to bother. I started drifting to sleep again, and Dan stayed quiet this time, letting me have my rest even though it was almost three in the afternoon. Apparently, we were scheduled to land at around eleven tonight, so I had all the time in the world.

 

When Dan woke me up this time, it was for dinner, and I was definitely well-rested now. It was almost eight.

“What do you want to eat?” he asked, clicking around on a fancy ordering menu screen.

“I don’t know. What’re my options?”

“Pasta, pizza, soup, sandwiches, Japanese…”

“Japanese,” I yawned, standing up to stretch. My back actually felt a lot better, which meant Dan had continued to work the knots out after I’d fallen asleep. How he did it without me noticing I didn’t know, but I appreciated it nonetheless.

“What are you getting?” I asked, turning to see Dan smiling down at the screen. Something about his smile seemed suspicious, but I couldn’t place what it was.

“Japanese sounds good to me.”

I nodded, sitting back down to wait for the food. We ate as soon as it arrived, and as we were quietly enjoying the meal, I thought of something.

“How much did all this cost you?”

Dan’s chewing paused, but only briefly, the mischievous look that had been present in his eyes all day sparkling.

“This part? Not too much. But as we keep reminding each other, it’s not your birthday yet.”

I groaned, trying to figure out what he was plotting. What he had plotted. Because Dan wasn’t the kind of person who up and rented a private plane to an exotic country-Dan thought things through, planned the details months in advance, and definitely made sure everything would work out beforehand. I was the spontaneous one, always buying houseplants and expensive candles and the like.

And now that I really thought about it, Dan hadn’t bought any absurdly expensive clothes in a while, either. Which means he had definitely been budgeting for this little trip.

“On a scale of one to ten, how surprised am I going to be?”

Dan mulled the question over, choosing his words carefully before answering, a smirk on his face. But I heard a genuine tone in his voice, which meant he wasn’t lying. Or he was doing so very well.

“Well, it’s in parts. So probably like an eight, and then a six, and maybe a seven, and then quite possibly a nine.”

I blinked at him in shock, overwhelmed by the complexity of this ‘gift’.

“Why no ten?” I decided to ask, which Dan knew I would.

“Because that little part of your brain that thinks over the ‘impossible’? Well, all this has probably been thought over in that part at some point.”

“So this is impossible?” I grinned, already running through the craziest possibilities in my mind, and by the look on Dan’s face, he knew it.

“Clearly not, since I’m doing it.”

He’d given me a clue, but half an hour later, I couldn’t decide which crazy thing Dan had done. He was very extravagant and dramatic, and some may call him extra, but Dan knew what he was doing. And if there were at least four more parts to this gift, literally anything was possible.

 

When we landed, the blindfold went back on, despite my most sincere efforts against the choice.

“Does it matter if I know where we are? We’re staying here so can’t I just see?”

Dan was quiet for a moment, and the pause was so long I wondered if he was even paying attention to me. But when he responded there was amusement laced in his words, and I could tell something had happened.

“Just a few more seconds. Get ready for surprises rank 8 and 6.”

My heart started beating just a tad bit faster, and I behaved and went along with Dan for a few more steps until he positioned me facing something, his hands hovering near my face.

“Ready?”

“Probably not but yes.”

Dan snickered, removing the blindfold and allowing me to finally see two out of four surprises. The first thing I registered were cherry blossoms, and the second thing was two people standing under them who yelled “Happy Birthday!!” My brain didn’t register who they were or where I was until I had gaped at them for a few stunned seconds, way too shocked to even comprehend the scene in front of me.

Duncan and Mimei both hugged me at the same time, causing our last trip to Japan to come flooding into my mind all at once. I hugged them back, hard because I hadn’t seen them in so long and I hadn’t thought I’d see them for a long time to come. But here they were, under Japan’s famous cherry blossoms, and I was grinning so broadly my face hurt a little.

I finally let go of them, stepping back and turning to give Dan and incredulous look. “This was the eight and six? This is already a ten for me!”

All three of them laughed, but Dan was smiling fondly at me, his eyes flooded with affection and something more.

“I told you. Just wait for the rest.”

That sentence alone both excited me to no end and scared me profoundly. But that was Dan, and as he smiled at me admiring the trees and the scenery he knew I loved so much, I wondered if we were going to go back to London as different as we had last time.

The next surprise was the restaurant Dan chose, or so I thought. When we pulled up to the building in Duncan and Mimei’s car, I was once again shocked beyond belief.

“Dan. I’m going to throw up if I think about how much planning and money and time this took.”

Dan waved me off, just like I knew he would, but our two friends exchanged a loaded look in the front seat as if they knew what Dan had planned. Which made my heart jump and fill with gratitude for Dan-he had already done so much, and for what? Me? Just for my birthday? He didn’t have to, and he knew it, and that made me love him even more despite my not thinking that was possible. 

I realized as we were about to walk through the door that I didn’t look nearly fancy enough for this place, and tugged Dan’s sleeve, stopping him just outside the door. 

“I’m not dressed for this occasion.”

Dan rolled his eyes. “You look beautiful, so hush. We’re both wearing button downs, which is more than fine, and besides, we’re tourists. We bring the fun.”

I smiled, partially blushing because Dan had called me beautiful and partially because the lady at the counter gave our linked hands an amused look.

“Table for two?” she asked kindly, in a very heavy accent. She must have known we spoke English. 

“Actually four, I believe our friends already check in, the Pains?” Dan grinned, seeing her expression as well.

The hostess nodded, leading us to our table and handing us two menus before bowing slightly at the waist.

“Drinks for you gentlemen?” she asked, already having taken Duncan and Mimei’s orders. 

“I’ll have an Amazake,” Dan answered immediately, and I studied the drinks on the side of the menu, picking solely based off of the picture rather than the words I couldn’t read.

“An Awamori for me, please,” I finally answered, and received a slight lift of the hostess’s eyebrow in return.

“I’ll be back soon,” she smiled, and as soon as she was out of earshot Duncan snorted.

“What?” I finally had to ask, clearly not knowing what I’d gotten myself into. 

“That’s the most heavily alcohol-based drink they have,” Mimei explained, trying to hide her amused smile but failing. Duncan was giving Dan a wide-eyed look before grinning at me.

“Just don’t have more than three.”

Of course, having a bad experience with heeding warnings, I had had four before Dan leaned in close to me, his lips brushing over my ear.

“You need to slow down. And happy birthday, as of exactly now.”

I looked at the time on my phone. 12:00am on January 30th. 

“Hey guys,” I started, much too loudly. I was well into being a bit too drunk for only having four of the Awamori. “I’m 30.”

“I’ll be 31 in two days,” Duncan chuckled, at my state or at the thought of getting older, I didn’t know. Things were really bright and a bit fuzzy, and yet, when the waitress brought me another drink, I immediately took a sip. Dan was shaking his head and smiling in fond disapproval, but it was my birthday now, and he wasn’t about to tell me when to stop drinking.

“It’s really good,” I tried to defend myself, pushing the drink too quickly to Dan. “Try it.”

Dan shook his head but didn’t push the drink back. “I think we should wrap this up before you start stripping or something.”

That caused everyone in the vicinity to laugh, and me to grin, poking my tongue between my teeth and leaning on Dan as we stood. 

“You know how much I love you?” I whispered loudly, hearing Mimei giggle behind us. 

“I love you too you silly bastard.” Dan kissed the top of my head, helping me into the car and holding my hand on the way to the hotel, which was apparently the real third surprise. It was five-star, we were on the top floor suite, and somehow we’d gotten free room service as well. I wasn’t able to appreciate it fully, however, since everything was fuzzy and glowing. I promised myself I would when I woke up, though. 

The elevator ride made my head spin, but as Dan unlocked the door and a lobby assistant wheeled the cart with our bags on it past us, it dawned on me that something big was going to happen tomorrow. Dan didn’t rank many things as nines, so I knew it was going to blow my mind for sure. 

You can’t dwell on these things for long when you’re drunk, however, and as soon as the man shut the door behind him, I was pushing Dan onto the bed. Whether it was the alcohol, this entire birthday trip so far, or the fact that Dan was simply angelic in the lighting, I couldn’t keep my hands off of him. 

And he went along with it for a while, kissing me back and letting me tug on his hair and whatnot until he eventually laughed as he placed his hands on my chest, his sign for me to stop. And I did, even in my hazy state; I wasn’t drunk enough to try and push Dan farther than he wanted to go.

“This is to be continued,” he smiled at my immediate pout, “as soon as I get out of the shower. Can you wait that long?”

My whiny groan answering his question, Dan laughed again, kissing me before he walked into the bathroom. I heard the shower turn on, and sighed, changing into pyjama pants and taking my contacts out while I waited. I couldn’t focus on one train of thought for very long, so my mind skipped around until eventually, I had to flop onto the bed with my face in a pillow to try and stop the whirling of my mind.

Dan’s hands on my shoulders didn’t make me jump, as they probably would have if I’d been completely alert, but instead caused me to relax.

“Phil,” he murmured, his hands kneading the tense muscles in my shoulders, much like they had earlier today on the plane. “It’s your birthday. Relax; you can have whatever you want.”

I rolled over, pulling at one of the damp, curly strands of hair stuck to his forehead. “Whatever?”

“Whatever,” Dan smirked, and we somehow switched places without me remembering how, with him laying on his back and looking up at me hovering over him. 

“You spoil me,” I mumbled, kissing along his jaw instead of his mouth so he could speak. 

“Mmhmm,” he hummed, his fingers dancing up and down my back. He could never keep them still, no matter what was going on. 

“Why?” I whispered, moving down to his neck. I heard his breathing flutter, but his voice was fairly calm when he answered.

“Because I love you, and I know you want this. And besides, I’m usually the problem when it comes to this.”

My kisses paused, and I propped myself up so I could see his face. “You’re not.” I frowned, not sure what I wanted anymore. “I don’t want to do this if you’re uncomfortable. I don’t want anything as much as I want you to be happy.”

Apparently, the reasonability in my statement surprised Dan because he thought it over, his eyebrows slightly raised. 

“I’m comfortable. I’m okay. I promise.”

I gave him a look, which must have seemed funnier since I was the drunk one and Dan was completely sober. Why was I the one making sure he wasn’t doing something he’d regret?

Dan smiled, his eyes sparkling despite the relative darkness in the room. “I’ve made you wait for six years and you’re giving me an out? You really are a good person.”

I huffed out a half-laugh, leaning on an elbow as we continued to talk it out. 

“Yeah. Because I know you think things through, and if you don’t you hate being pressured into things. So did you expect this? Plan for it?”

Dan’s bashful smirk was enough to make me genuinely grin again. 

“Yeah. Surprises stress you out and stress makes you drink, also it’s your birthday. You think me, of all people, would deprive you of a true birthday night on a majorly important year? Please.” 

I rolled my eyes, which was a bad idea and just flooded my head with dizziness. “Alright then, Dan Howell. What do you want me to do?”

Dan smirked, sly now. “Whatever your heart desires. Obliterate me, Phil Lester.”

Thirtieth birthdays? In my personal opinion and experience, one of the best birthdays to be had.

 

To my surprise, my hangover wasn’t as bad as I expected it to be the next morning. The sunlight flooding in the room through the curtains was a bit too bright, but everything was quiet and peaceful, the loudest thing in the room being Dan’s quiet snores.

I was lying on my back, Dan practically laying on my chest, and his warmth was almost too much paired with the comforter that was haphazardly draped over us. I shifted just a bit, to try and stick my leg out from under the blanket, but Dan was instantly awake.

“Morning, sleepyhead.” Dan’s voice was barely a whisper as if he knew that loud sounds were not what I needed right now. I smiled, and he kissed the tip of my nose, whispering something about going to order room service. I let him do that, getting up myself to go take a shower.

The water was a bit too loud for my liking, but it helped clear the grogginess from my head, and I felt cleaner, cooler, and a lot better than I had when I woke up. Although the plethora of controls and settings confused me as much as they had last time. I changed into a jumper and some jeans, not really thinking we were doing anything fancy today, and combed through my hair before walking out of the bathroom into the aroma of pancakes.

“Happy birthday,” Dan was smirking triumphantly, seeing my expression of surprise at the heaps of food set up at the dining table by the window. I hadn’t even noticed the table last night, and now that I was relatively sober, I could appreciate all the perks and details that apparently came with a Japanese penthouse.

My favorite part was the cherry blossoms blooming on the roof, right outside our window.

“I’m still in shock that you did all of this, just for me,” I mumbled around a bite of pancake, knowing cream was on my chin and not bothering to wipe it off, making Dan giggle.

“Hey, I’m quite enjoying this little trip as well. Also you haven’t even seen the nine yet, so…”

I raised an eyebrow at Dan’s vague, mysterious statement, and asked, “So when do I get to see that?”

“Oh, in a little while. Just be patient.”

 

After we ate breakfast, we watched a few animes (which was very stereotypical of us, we knew), and at around two or so, Dan finally rolled off the bed and pulled me into a sitting position.

“So, where do you want to go first today?”

I thought it over, finally deciding on my favorite part about Japan last time and in general. “Will the cherry blossoms be blooming well at this time of year? I mean I know they’re out there but…”

Dan’s eyes lit up. “They have a park that’s the most popular place they’re blooming. Okinawa has the earliest cherry blossom season.”

So we made our way to a park that was so covered in the light pink of the cherry blossoms that we really didn’t have to even enter it to get the full view, but Dan insisted, paying the fee at the gate and everything. Again, as if he had planned ahead.

We hadn’t taken ten steps before Dan linked his hand with mine, swinging our arms between us and leading the way all over the park. He seemed nervous for some reason, fidgety, and I was utterly confused as to why. We’d done something similar to this last time we visited Japan, and Dan was fine then, in his element surrounded by the culture we both loved so much.

“Hey Phil?”

I glanced at Dan, who was staring at the ground, his face looking a bit too red for the temperature.

“Yeah?”

“What do you think my last surprise is?”

I took a while to respond, because I honestly had no idea. “Did you buy me something? Because that’s absolutely not allowed after all of this.”

Dan smiled, still studying the fallen flowers on the path that created a pastel carpet under our feet. “You’re not wrong, I guess. Is there any other guess you want to take?”

Again I considered it, but ended up shaking my head. I was really bad at these guessing games, and especially with Dan, who kept secrets so well.

“Close your eyes.”

I did as he said, not protesting because he seemed a different type of serious this time. I felt him let go of my hand, and when I heard him breathe out my cue to open my eyes, he was on one knee, his hands behind his back.

“Phil Lester…”

I clasped my hands over my mouth, unable to breathe, to move, to do anything but stare into the beautiful eyes of Dan, my boyfriend, my best friend. The man I’d known for almost eight years now, who never ceased to surprise me.

“I’m bad at words, that’s always been your thing. But hear me out-you’re thirty years old, we’re both not getting any younger, and if we’re being honest? I’ve been waiting to do this since 2009. We’ve had our ups and downs, mostly because I’m an ignorant asshole, but I think we’ve been consistently in an upward spiral for a long time now. We’ve done so much in general, so much together, and we’ve got our whole lives to do so much more.”

I didn’t register the tears streaming down my face until they touched my lips, salty and warm and full of happiness. I still couldn’t breathe, and I didn’t know how Dan could be this calm all of the sudden.

He had been planning this for a while.

“So, Phil, will you spend the rest of your life with me so we can see just how much we can do before the universe decides our time is up?”

And with that statement, Dan pulled the small box from behind his back, opening it to reveal a ring that, through my blurry, tear-flooded vision, appeared to be a cherry blossom branch that was designed to wrap around your finger. It was gold, with small pink gems and diamonds, but I looked at Dan when I choked out an answer. He was the more beautiful of the two, anyway.

“And you say words aren’t your thing,” I hiccuped, seeing Dan flush red and smile. “Of course I will.”

Dan slid the ring onto my finger, and I finally became aware that people were around us when they started applauding. A few were taking pictures, and there was even a professional photographer, who Dan must have somehow hired to photograph and film this moment.

“You realize this is going to break the internet?”

Dan smiled at a few of the people, linking his hand with mine again. “Yep. It’s about damn time-let’s see if people believe this.”

They didn’t. We returned to the hotel, eating dinner in the room and relaxing. Our forms of relaxing were different-Dan flitted through the tweets and comments and Tumblr posts, while I simply admired the ring he’d somehow managed to pick out and buy without my knowledge whatsoever.

“How’s it looking?” I asked at around midnight, both exhausted and too excited to sleep.

“People have run it through editing softwares by now, so they know it’s real. A few have linked me to pictures of them crying. Shitty Watercolour has already made two pieces, one of your ugly cry and one of me dropping the ring. Also Tyler is pissed he didn’t know.”

I snickered, twisting the ring around my finger. “I can’t believe you.”

Dan’s smile have away his happiness, but his shrug was nonchalant. “I’m very extra. I wanted this to be the most iconic proposal this year, since Viktor and Yuri took it last month.”

I rolled my eyes, but I couldn’t help but laugh.

“I love you-”

We’d both said it at the same time, and we burst out laughing, knowing we were cheesy and gross and in love. We were perfectly okay with it, too.


End file.
